It Ain't About "Happy"

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I had a chance to spend an evening with a really good friend last week.  Such times are too, too rare, and almost always too, too wonderful!

My friend is currently out of work.
She's worried, but not panicking.  Not yet.

Of course, the worry and her situation were the prime topic of our conversation. 

We did the usual - blaming the economy.  We brainstormed a couple of strategies for her to try.  We talked a lot about working and "careers" and, well, life in general.

And I was completely blown away when she shared, in a pretty emotional moment, how she just wanted to know when she'd be able to stop "struggling" so hard.  "Struggling".  That was her word.

She went on to explain it wasn't that she wanted life to be all peaches and cream, she wasn't asking for the moon, and she wasn't even asking (and this is the blowing-away part) to be "happy". 
She just wanted peace.

And my jaw dropped.

I've been saying this (to myself) for a couple of years.
It ain't about being happy.
It's about finding peace.

There are plenty of happy people out there. 
Happy has it's moments, and it's place, don't get me wrong.
Happy can come on in; I don't turn it away.

But that feeling of real peace?
Hmmm.  Not so much.

Have we, as a culture, gotten so accustomed to the frantic, techno-driven, see-it/buy-it/consume-it/dispose-of-it, everythingistemporary turmoil that passes for "happy" that we've totally abandoned a quest for calm, tranquility and that higher plane of peace?

Are we settling for some perverted distortion of "happiness" because we think it can be found in a store?
In a bottle?
In a gadget?
In another place to be, another thing to do?
In a pricier car, or a bigger house?

Or have we turned to all of those faux sources of "happy" because they are (or were) attainable while that darned peacefulness we crave is so elusive?

Which came first?

Ah, no matter.

Within a scant 48 hours of that evening with my dear friend, I found myself sitting at the kitchen table of another - albeit much more recent - acquaintance.

As we talked about a project we are considering entering into together we wove into and out of tales from our lives and our experiences.  We shared some great ideas.

And one of hers was how she felt she was finally on a path towards true peace, beyond just happiness.  Those were her words.

I know!

Unprompted.
Unscripted.
This has got to be more than a mere coincidence.

Maybe our economic woes are reaping an unexpected cultural benefit.

Could it be that, as we get priced out of more and more of those "things" that we thought were the sources of so much happiness, we find instead the absolute bliss of some peace?
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Don't Live Every Day As If It's Your Last

I don't know when it was that I started really disliking it when people say "I live every day as if it is my last".

Really??

You live every day telling your egomaniacal control-freak of a boss to piss off and going to the beach instead of working like the rest of us?
You live every day surrounded by your closest family and friends, telling them how much you love them and making hours upon hours of wonderful memories instead of dropping the kids off at school or catching up with your friends by phone or email or FB because they, like you, are really busy?
You live every day packing up extraneous crap that you can't even remember buying anymore and paring down your surroundings to only that which truly brings you joy, because, frankly, you don't want to leave cleaning out that mess to someone you love?
You live every day making sure your will is up-to-date and no one is going to feel slighted?

Oh, of course you don't!!
But you could live every day in the sure and certain knowledge that you have a deadline. 
You have an expiration date. 
Your today, while not your last, is one of a finite number.  There will be a "last" day, just as there was a "first" day.

So I say DON'T live every day as if it is your last. 
You need your job.
You really don't want to surround yourself with all the people you cherish 24/7.  At least not for long.
You need to keep building your life - and that's how you fully live it.
Live every day knowing you have a deadline.
 
Think of it this way:  time is going to pass whether you are active or passive.
One year from now will arrive, whether you've moved in a forward direction in your own life, or not.
So what's it going to be?
Your last day?  Just another day?  Or quite possibly a best day?
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